@manofprestige spoke about women saying they are okay with being alone in a weirdly protective/disputable way. For clarity, (black) women did not start saying they are okay alone until they began experiencing and witnessing the trauma that the dating scene (and sometimes marriage) brings. Granted, nobody wants to be alone, but it is better to be alone than spend your entire life recovering from a traumatic romantic relationship or die in the same.

The (black) men we look up to seem content with disappointing us with reckless abandon – we see this with pastors, celebrities, political leaders, employers, and motivational speakers. It is so shameful. Until men move differently (especially as the proverbial head of the family), women will likely continue to suffer and find other survival mechanisms, including being alone by choice.

As a licensed U.S. Attorney, I can tell you that the lady that spoke about an "iron-clad" prenuptial spoke the truth. The law will not get involved where there is a meeting of the minds, unless for purposes of enforcement of the contract or an invalidating factor exists.

Preliminarily, the key is to ensure that BOTH parties had EFFECTIVE legal representation when the prenup was negotiated/executed, and to ensure that the terms are fair in the eyes of the law, especially when children are involved. Hence, it is advisable to revisit the prenup agreement from time to time, as the family grows and individual careers flourish. Since prenups are contracts, they are subject to contractual challenges such as duress, mistake, unconscionability, etc. Lawyers anticipate these issues and create a prenup agreement that cannot be challenged. This is why Millionaires and Billionaires are not afraid of marriage despite the chance of divorce – they pay lawyers to prepare for the worst and go into marriage for the good.

HOWEVER, a prenup does not prevent a troublesome spouse to go to court for harassment purposes only. In this case, a lot of wealthy people settle out of court (only for a reasonable amount – a subjective analysis) to get rid of the nuisance aka avoid mounting attorney fees, not because the prenup was not valid.

A good way to vet a potential love scammer/destiny blocker/time waster is to propose marriage and a pre-nup, in lieu of living together 🙂

I think she may have been protecting her wealth and was not interested in marriage because of that. She knows that she can easily get married if she wants too. Yandy Smith did a wedding ceremony but was not legally married to her boo because she did not want his other 2 baby mamas to claim her money. Not many woman are marriage obsessed like a nigerian woman in Nigeria

Udoka is Akwa Ibom state not pronounced the Ibo way

Cohabitation for me is a no no, three of my cousins in particular did it, abandoned their studies, had children with their partners who till today have not paid their bride price and till date, they are suffering in their marriages. I believe that God has giving us a blueprint for how marriage should be. I also believe that God created the whole world and that blueprint should work for everyone, so no matter your religion, culture, traditions or race, when we fall out of his principles for marriage, we bear the consequences.

Also, since I came to live in America, I have always heard African American women complain that their men don't live up to expectation. It is quite unfortunate that successful black women have to protect themselves from being taken advantage of by men who are not doing well for themselves but what baffles me is why some African American women who are equally not doing well for themselves or in the words of Kevin Samuels were "average at best" called into his shows, complained there are no eligible men and were not happy when Kevin Samuels suggested they date people at their level instead of looking to date super rich men that are not enough to go round. Although Kevin Samuels may have sounded disrespectful in his approach but the question remains that if successful AA women are afraid of settling for less, maybe successful men are also afraid of settling for less. Sometimes I wonder if these women actually know what they want or have too much expectations that their men cannot meet. It's also sad that things have degenerated to this level because I have watched Tyler Perry's movies growing up and all that he, Steve Harvey, RC Blakes and other men alike, have been saying is that AA women should stop displaying too much masculinity such that they begin to take the role of men while the men becomes subservient taking the role of women. But like the caller who spoke, there was a history to this but again the question is can this be remedied or is it getting worse? Because at the end of the day it's the children that are raised in all these malfunctioned unions that suffers most as well as the entire society. In summary, I believe Africans should hold onto the good things we have in our cultures

We women should stop expecting men to respect us when we cannot respect ourselves. Stop co- habiting with men you are not married to. A man who loves and respects u will do the needful. If u are dating someone especially once u are over 28years don't allow a relationship to go longer an 14 months without it heading somewhere definite. Don't assume sit him down and get definite timeline for marriage and children. If he reneges on his promise, leave him. Share a flat with other people if u cannot afford to rent or live alone. Self respect and dignity is priceless. Ladies let's have standards. Is it hard sometimes yes. However in the end it pays.

Some of it is systemic

Common Law marriage is only for some states like California not all states

I agree to some extent it works both ways . Some other women end up in the first category where they are shacking and then they don’t get married.

Please Ime Udoka are both Akwaibom names. He is from Akwaibom State.

Most men will not take such woman serious ,because its comes too cheap. there is no pride in shame .

I want to hug the African American lady, Marsha 59:07 She hit the nail on the head. Ms. Nia Long knew exactly what she was doing. Smart lady ❤✨

I think that mothers raising sons should teach them to respect and value women and this will help to break some of the negate cycles. Girls are raised to be obedient and subservient to their husbands while men/boys are given a free pass most times.

Everybody is talking about it’s against their cultural norms or their religion to live with a man (the woman is usually judged for this, not men) before marriage. I guess your culture, and more important, your religion allows you to fornicate before marriage? I guess the goal is to give the appearance of not having sex, while actually engaging in it, while living apart. Please miss me with the hypocrisy.

African American sister who called about Black Americans being captors , my love and respect to you. It is your struggle during the civil rights movement that opened door for us. We thank you , let us make the best of America 🇺🇸 God given land. Africa we love it but we stay away from it. My respect to you sister is immense. Mrs Bridget 👏🏽👏🏽I applaud you for keeping politics out of this platform. Someone mentioned about women having babies for government money , FYI👂 there was a CNN report a while back , survey done on welfare recipients in USA , Oyibo people #1 and Oyibo immigrants. God bless thé USA. ❤Mrs Bridget.

Living with a man without Marriage is called " SHACKING ". In some States if you live together for 7yearsor more you can file a " COMMON LAW MARRIAGE and the living Partner is Entitled to All BENEFITS

Don't use Nigerian standards to measure Americans! The stories on here have shown that marriage is not all it's cracked up to be. Let's just try to understand that. We do not know Nia and the partner's reasons.

Marriage is a good thing, does not mean everybody wants to get married, or has to be married. It is not for everybody. While Nigerian culture and pretty much a lot of cultures around the world see it as a natural path for many. It does not have to be so.

There are increasingly many women who prefer a partnership, which does make you sign the dotted lines. And it's okay. Absolutely has nothing to do with being "Woke" but understanding who you are as a person. A preference and this includes some Nigerian women like me. (Cultures should evolve)

Nia Long is one of those women, I think at some point, she caved into societal expectations and got engaged to Ime. My only disagreement with her, which is really not my business, is what kind of boundaries she set, because, I can bet my bottom dollar this is not the first time Ime has cheated. but perhaps, cheating is not a deal breaker for her. Just that this time, she felt publicly humiliated.

As a woman, you have great powers in the universe, to decide what path you like and what is personally best for you without societal expectations. Or what people would say. And trust me, this comes with a lot of self-knowledge, awareness, and wisdom.

More than half of Nigerian marriages are miserable because many marry wrongly and the women are "enslaved" in those unions. (For lack of a better word)
A great partnership is better than a miserable marriage.

There is Common Law marriage that gives rights to partners. It varies by state.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Good job. What a topic. ❤ I found out why Oprah doesn’t marry Steidman. I hated her for sometime saying , she should let him go to marry my baby sister. Wise decision Oprah. Thank you beautiful Bridget 🙏♥️ Keep up the good job ♥️

Women are making choices about protecting their wealth and what she is saying is what some women do. She is not generalizing she is saying what her experiences and others have made.

Nia did say she did not want to get married according to the blogs. They didn’t really live together until this year when he moved her to Boston from LA, just around the time the cheating news spilled.
Many women are choosing to cohabitate in the US to protect their assets and peace. Take for example Oprah. Marriage is now a business and no longer a love affair. To each their own.

Me as an Edo woman my culture does not permit that and my religion staying together without marriage

Keep teaching these truths Aunty B! That's why I love you 😍. You emphasize the truth, no fake life. You are saving lives on this channel. Keep up the good work. I always recommend friends to listen to your discussions & conversations.

In the US marriage has been reduced to a financial contract. Several states recognize common law marriage here. Married people cheat everyday.

I agree with the ladies that say you should always have your own financially but I don't believe in going into marriage if your attitude to it is 'it's just a piece of paper'. It's really not by force to get married if you don't care to and truly believe there are no benefits in it for you.

Also, the 'preparing for the worse' attitude doesn't actually prepare you for anything. All it does is place a lot of energy focusing on undesirable outcomes. At the end you'll still feel the same hurt should anything undesirable happen. Is an ability to say 'I already knew something bad would happen' enough of a consolation for staying in a relationship? There are a lot of women who say they don't care about being married yet they don't say no when they are proposed to. I feel like a person who is truly opposed to or indifferent about marriage shouldn't enter one.

This is the same reason why Oprah refused to marry her boyfriend so that she will not pay him.

The bible also says we should not fornicate but we tend to ignore this part….so if we can fornicate, then we can live together without marrying!

Nia long mother is a Trinidadian born Nia long visited Trinidad for one of our carnival celebration she has Trinidadian roots

Yes!! What she is saying is the truth for most true African American successful females

The African American lady who called was absolutely correct, the laws that govern marriage in the US can be disturbing sometimes.
*I pretty much believe Nia didn't want marriage

In the US, public assistance is only given to parents who do not make good money (according to the limit determined by the government).

I agree Bree. My xtian values and my own moral don't permit such. I think the lady loses much more as the man can go and marry a lady half the jilted fiancee's
age.

I agree with you Aunty B. I am a Christian and l will never give free milk. Until you buy the cow.

In some Ghanaian cultures, the man is financial charged extra or fined for living with the woman before marriage during the traditional marriage.