The necklace story, I think it would be amazing for OP to create an heirloom of her own for her children one day from something that is an heirloom already. It would have more value to OP as a ring. Also so many people are to materialistic, it's just a thing, it's not destroying the memories of grandma. It would probably invite more memories since people will ask about the ring and it's back story.

2nd story, tell the Father and his Girlfriend don't let the door hit them on the way out.

Why are engagement rings supposed to be expensive? The one my wife and I bought is a rose of seven to nine tiny but real diamonds and cost 350€ in 2002.
[edit: or maybe it was 550€, I don’t remember, just not something that’s a big deal for a one time investment with a middle class income].

Story 4: Cancel the wedding and get a paternity and STD test for yourself. This whole "she demands sex multiple times over several days" is pretty much a dead giveaway that she was pregnant and wanted to cover it up with "Oh you know, we did it so much, you must have impregnated me then"

Story 3: Whatever happened to my property, my choice here? Plus as it stands, the necklace is in a safe deposit box that OP HAS NO ACCESS TO, so even if she wanted it she couldn't get HER OWN PROPERTY from the bank.
So it's basically something that you have with you every day vs something you pretty much never have. I'd question if the necklace is even still there if mom is so vehemently against it. If it is, she may be okay with not seeing items with sentimental value at all, but that doesn't mean OP is the same or should be. It's not like she'll pawn it off and then it's gone forever, on the contrary – it will be WAY more present than it is now.

Story 2: Lovely reddit double standards "Many women have thought about their wedding all their life, so you gotta go with her vision of it" Yeah, we live in a time where all kinds of gender roles are broken down, but not here, where it's convenient to hold onto old values and such? Ridiculous.

Necklace OP is not the asshole. The necklace is HER property as stated via her grandmother's will. What she does with it is entirely up to her. If she prefers having the gem removed and set in a ring instead, that's her prerogative. People have gems removed and reset from jewelry all the time. What she does need to do is remove it from her Mom's safety deposit box and place it in one under just her name. With the mother now aware of what OP would want to do, I have no doubt she'd remove/steal the necklace and hide it elsewhere.

Necklace story I disagree with the YTA comments. Its only barely technically an heirloom since its been passed down ONCE and its a necklace not a family crest or ring. And even if it was it is legally OP's and therefore OP gets to decide what to do with it. If she wants to make it into a ring thats her right and it doesnt mean she cant still continue to pass it down if she wants. I think the fact that OPs mom has it in her secure possession is really sus though. OP needs to get that necklace from her mom.

Make way for the cheater, make way for the fool of heart……….

First OP is a doormat, geez.

Dang, for $50-80k make that wedding last a whole weekend

I don't get how some commenters are telling OP they're the idiot for not giving fiance her 'dream wedding', when the entire relationship is built on lies, because they already discussed how they would get married and now she is completely going in another direction. They claim he is not compromising, but compromising to WHAT? This is like saying you think you owe your friend a dollar, and they say you owe them a million 'just because', and a third friend comes along and says you should just compromise and pay them 500K. NO! Just NO! Big freakin' NO!!! There is no compromising with someone who did a 180' and is now willing to die on that hill. Tell Fiance to grow up and stop competing with her sister.
Story 1… I can't even. Last story – if your BF is okay with YOU providing the diamond for your own engagement ring, well then, be prepared to support your man-baby the rest of your life; you're a med student and he has a 'start up' (otherwise known as a 'get rich quick scheme')? He's letting future sugar momma known PRECISELY how their life together is gonna work. The ring is supposed symbolize his commitment to YOU, and this will be worthless in that regard. We've read these Reddit scenarios a thousand times before. Honey, this time Mommy does know best, and the 'D' just ain't worth the hassles.

Wow a few of the comments on the wedding one came off a bit racist lol… rhat being said im paying for our wedding for the simple reason that 280k is not alot to me.

Nta. They can pick up and go grocery shopping. They need to go. Both of them. Losers dont wait till their kids are 20 before they meet them. Throw the squatters out.

I see no problem turning a necklace into a ring. Just because something is an "heirloom" ( I think there should be some sort of limit on how many heirlooms a family has – sounds like OP's family has two dozen or so and that's just starting to get silly) doesn't mean it has to be enshrined and worshipped like the family idol. Objects have use, so use it as you desire.

RING ISSUES, ESH. Yes is wrong of mom to suggest you Husband to be is a Dead beat, but is ALSO STUPID of you to act like its fine to Deface a Family Heirloom because he Cant afford or refuses to pay for your engagement ring… The Enactment ring don't Require a Stone, could be a simple band and OP is not considering that. No one ever said a Diamond was required for a ladies ring. Well no one but the ladies.
Cousin of mine used a 0.25 plastic Ring for their Engagement ring till he could Afford a better one. Maybe OP needs to consider that rather then DESTROYING Family Heirlooms.

Wedding Demands, NTA. So let me understand this. She was all for the idea of a Court House wedding UNTIL she went to her sisters wedding and now wants one as good as if not better then her sisters wedding. There is something wrong with this girl. What happened at that wedding to get her to do a Complete 180? She had agreed with you to Forgo the wedding for a Extra Long HONEYMOON, but NOW decides that she wants BOTH… Sounds like she is Jealous of her sister and wants to SHOW OFF, nothing more. and if that's the case ask her how much she plans on Contribute to the wedding, if she PLANS on giving ZERO from her own money, then this is not a marriage, its a Dictatorship. SHE wants a 80K wedding and her STB HUBBY to pay for it all out of his 100K a year PAY. I would understand if you had time to Plan but it sounds like she is making this a Last minute plan and your main concern is the fact you have NO SAVINGS and her DEMANDS are a 5 star platinum wedding.

Suggest you sit down and figure out how much YOU BOTH can give to this wedding. If she sticks to ZERO for her payable amount for HER WEDDING then you may want to walk away because I don't see her Daddy volunteering to follow her LAST MINUTE WEDDING DEMANDS.

Isn’t it the dads job to pay for the wedding?

FIRST STORY, You sound like THEIR SIMP. You pay for everything and they dont even give you RESPECT… You need to BOOT the both of them. NO, you would not be the AH for putting your house on the market. ITS YOUR PROPERTY, and they are allowed to have a Issues with it when they pay for ANYTHING.

A lot of guys wear silicon or tungsten carbide rings. I do.

The wedding one, he isn’t the asshole. Before anyone proposes a couple needs to discuss their expectations like children, wedding, religion, familial obligations (like if a spouse expects to move the their parents in and support them, all needs to be discussed beforehand). they discussed and agreed on the courthouse. This isn’t him changing his mind, she is, probably to try and one up her sister. It’s a HUGE waste of money! If i was a billionaire I wouldn’t have a wedding cause it’s so ridiculous. What if they both agreed they never want kids and once the ring is on her finger she “by accident” gets pregnant? There are women who will do this, they figure that he will just change his mind. There are also men that do it too, often from pressure from their parents to carry on the family name. I even saw one on Reddit where he was financially supporting his parents and five siblings, none of whom bothered to get a job. Only when they were talking to a financial advisor about merging their finances (whom advised her not to merge with him or she’d be screwed) that he expected them to live off of her salary while he supported his family with his. Having kids would screw then entirely and so whatever she wanted wouldn’t happen cause he wouldn’t stop trying to buy his parents love

Dump the floozie, you are spineless and weak. DUMP HER!

The 2nd OP was told ESH or that he's the asshole because he doesn't want to waste his money and told his bride to be to meet him halfway?! And the excuse used is that he is Indian?! WTF?!
And he is still asking whether he should stay with that woman?!

Wow…the engagement ring story…Most of the commentors on the video clearly haven't had a great deal of family heirlooms. Reusing the diamond in a ring is exactly what they are for unless it significantly decreases the value. The diamond is the heirloom, not the necklace. We have a ring in our family that started as a large broach. Then was made into necklaces for 2 daughters after 3 generations. Then 5 generations later it became rings. The rings have been updated and made to fit the wearer, some with added gems and filigree. The heirloom part is that it's been in the family for generations and still is. It's about memory, monetary value, and use. No one in my family would walk around with a huge jewel on a brooch…no one would unless they were incredibly ostentatious. (okay…maybe the queen of England.)
Heirloom jewelry are about passing down wealth between generations. It doesn't matter what form it is used as long as it doesn't lose value.

Why would you stay with a cheater